Ending my self-censorship?

[Myk JL 1,731]

Or maybe it could be more accurate to type "Ending my procrastination"? Typing self-censorship only feels right because I expect to tick off people no matter what I try to create. Or maybe its just demotivation because I still confuse wanting to make HTML5 Games with "Real Video Games"?

I know that in the past that I thought I would finally make video games for Ouya. At the time I thought Ouya was going to be different by not getting involved with brick and mortar. By doing so it could've been the first (micro) console to allow AO Rated games. But they got involved with Game Stop & wanted the final say in what the prices were for those games. So I now knew if I wanted to make free porn games the answer would've been No.

I got myself motivated again when I thought I would learn how to make games for Linux Steam Machine. I never planned to sell my (still not created) games on Steam. Because Steam has the same standards of consoles despite not being a console. So I had this point in time where I had bought all of these online courses that may or may not work on Linux. I got myself demotivated again after buying a Steam Machine just to find out that I would void my warranty if I decided to use it as a Linux Computer instead of a Console.

Part of me is hoping that maybe my (pornographic) ideas can become less grandiose if I could just settle for HTML5. Then demotivated by the fact that Ajit Pai might destroy the internet. Then re-motivated by the fact that Donald Trump might destroy my SSI Checks, Housing Assistance, & Food Stamps. Then demotivated again because maybe failure isn't an option & I want to be okay with my work being a failure.

Other things I could do is vlog. When I do I hope that I can turn advertising off. Maybe at best make zero to very little money on patreon. I'm kind of against me vlogging because I don't think I have enough to talk about. And if I did maybe some of those discussions my game ideas. I bought facerig for vlogging last year because I was tired of my human face. Though I don't want to use that all the time so I'm trying to motivated myself to buy Rocksmith 2014 because I think that would be more interesting than me playing Real Video Games. Or maybe just learn something else like Sign Language because not all of my characters in my HTML5 Game Ideas are intended to be voiced.

I'm still debating myself on what pornographic / non-pornographic HTML5 Game Idea I should try to make first. Whether or not I'll have my own website or rely heavily on New Grounds. And whether or not I can truly be okay with people who will be mad with me for not dealing with reality or religion on their terms.

Sorry if that was too long winded (with maybe some bad grammar) so here is some nice non red text.

And finally here are the ideas I'm debating whether or not I'll do.

• A homophobic god that I would find believable. - I don't believe in the Abrahamic god claims. But if I had to & that somehow that god was homophobic this is how I think it would play out.
• A racist god - That might be unfair.... Is committing genocide on demons really racist?
• Something Transphobic? - Not necessarily a god thing. But the idea that a creator would create someone intentionally feeling that they were born the wrong gender is intriguing me more & more.
• A wide variety of alternate futures inspired by the 2016 election with an alternate past. - Most of these ideas were around before the 2016 election. Why I emphasis it now is simply because I had all of these alternate futures but the blanks in my head felt unfilled until that year. One blank I did have filled out before that was what I was going to substitute for religion even though religion still exist in those timelines. One of those timelines involves a knock-off of Cats 'N Cameras which I started brainstorming in 2011. A part of that timeline is genderless children who probably have disturbing imaginations. Then there is a different timeline which will probably show how dumb I am for being Wiki Smart when it comes to evolution. There is a lot more but those are specifically pornographic or not pornographic.
• An alternate timeline that happens before that election - I intend for this to be filled with Aliens (from space), Technobabble, & Taboos....

I do have a lot more ideas. But I look at them the same way I look at Ghost Chasers 3. Or that one I think would be considered a Zootopia knock-off (even though that might be all my 2016 inspired ideas).

[Sledgstone 8,672]

Sounds like your main choice is going to be what programming language you want to learn. Were you going to self teach yourself to make games or attend some college classes? Aside from programming you could work on storyboards for how the plot will go. How about graphics? Were you planning on flash style games, 8-bit old school style or full on SFM (Source Filmmaker) 3-d graphics? SFM rendering takes some huge gpu power. From what I have seen from patreon users, you could teach yourself SFM and make movies instead of games since there seems to be alot of people out there paying people on patreon for pornographic and non pornographic videos.

I mention making videos instead of games in case you wanted to potentially make money without having to learn programming. SFM sounds like it can be a pain to learn in itself tho.

Whenever I think of patreon I always remember this comic:

http://www.dorkly.com/post/78350/how-to-draw-successful-fanart-according-to-the-internet

The people paying for stuff like that through patreon doesn't end with just fanart.

[Myk JL 1,731]

Based on my own stupidity I felt the need to self censor myself until after mother's day. Because I felt the need to explain how much I hate my mom. Then I finally tried Facerig. I didn't like any of their default characters. I thought I would find a cheetah in there because I googled Facerig Cheetah. So for the moment making videos isn't something I'm focusing on.

On ‎5‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 8:08 AM, Sledgstone said:

Sounds like your main choice is going to be what programming language you want to learn. Were you going to self teach yourself to make games or attend some college classes?

I'll be trying Clickteam Fusion 2.5 which I got from a Humble Bundle a year or so ago. Beyond that I think I have some books that I got from Humble Bundle about HTML5. (Plus I may still have access to the online courses I bought from the Escapist Store. But because those aren't HTML5 I might not use those.) No college classes. Otherwise I would've achieved something over a decade earlier.

On ‎5‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 8:08 AM, Sledgstone said:

How about graphics? Were you planning on flash style games, 8-bit old school style or full on SFM (Source Filmmaker) 3-d graphics? SFM rendering takes some huge gpu power. From what I have seen from patreon users, you could teach yourself SFM and make movies instead of games since there seems to be alot of people out there paying people on patreon for pornographic and non pornographic videos.

Hopefully HTML5 is considered Flash because when I look for HTML5 questions on Wix the closest question I find only deals with Flash. I'm staying away from 3D (if I can) because I consider my game ideas to be 2D Concepts. If I ever do 3D it'll only be because I could play it in a Web Browser.

On ‎5‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 8:08 AM, Sledgstone said:

I mention making videos instead of games in case you wanted to potentially make money without having to learn programming. SFM sounds like it can be a pain to learn in itself tho.

I think I'd have a harder time dealing with voice actors than learning to program. Making money is only necessary for me if I lose my Government Assistance. Which I could also lose if I succeed at what I'm trying to do.

On ‎5‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 8:08 AM, Sledgstone said:

Whenever I think of patreon I always remember this comic:

http://www.dorkly.com/post/78350/how-to-draw-successful-fanart-according-to-the-internet

The people paying for stuff like that through patreon doesn't end with just fanart.

I swear I'm never ever doing any fan-fiction.... Like I'd get close.... But I would lack Source Material or lore break or become convoluted or too furry or that one time I bought Watchmen just to rename them Watchdogs & then I found out about that Ubisoft game. I feel like I could make one good fan-fiction about a DC / LoZ crossover. But even then I'm trying to get myself to shut up about it.