Curiosity killed the cat...

[Sabe 2,444]

Besides the story I've been posting, I'm working on another; this one in the vien of Naruto. I'm at a crossroads in the story and have a bit of a question.

From the point I'm at, Sakura could end up 'involved' with my OC. They are literally at a dressing down stage. I don't know weather or not to have one of Sakura's fellow medic-nin's to knock and keep the story clean , or let my dirty little mind allow it to get rather...hentai.

What do you guys think?

[Stinkerbell 147]

Sabe, honestly where do you see it going? If you see it going one way, or ther other, then write it. The only advice I have about things getting a bit hentai, is to keep it tasteful and sexy. If you read it and think you may see it in a romance novel, toss it.

I'm not familiar with the Naruto-universe so I cannot say one way or the other, but just go with your gut.

Sorry if that seems vague.

[Ladywriter 7,783]

curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought him back.

Write out the scene both ways and see which one seems to flow with the story better

[Sabe 2,444]

What I see is both, simply because I did stop at the crossroads. The thing is, I'm not sure how to keep them seperate(both physical and loving attraction, not just lust) if I go without, but if I allow them to go through, I worry that it will become...unsightly.

The only other hentai story that I did sounded worse than a scene in a romance novel. I know what I want it to appear, but the words don't flow like they should; it ends up too smutty. I dunno...I may just scrap the last 5 pages it starts in and cool it out. Thanks for the advice, though!

[Ladywriter 7,783]

A sex scene doesnt have to be triple X

Would their intamate relationship add depth to the story or create new conflicts for the characters to overcome? If so... fuck away X'D

[Sabe 2,444]

If so... fuck away X'D

...

It would create new conflicts(Naruto and my OC are roomies) because of the NarutoxSakura issue. And the scene isn't meant to be xXx, but that is how they always sound and it pisses me off.

I'm a describer, so when I try to explain what's what, I sound like the narrator of a 'Hustler' movie...grrr.

I'm gonna have to really play with this scene...

[Ladywriter 7,783]

sorry dude but yer killin me here If ya think its too raunchy I'll peek at it and give ya an honest opnion... not that my slobbish opnion would help or anything X'D

you can always do the 'scene fade out' when things start to get too hot to handle

[falling-angel-111 736]

lol, lady, you're killing me here! X'D

I think you should try writing it out and see how it goes. Then if it turns out horrible or too xXx then you can go back to the other. you never know untill you try.

I haven't read it but I haven't seen naruto, do I have to watch it to understand your story?

[Sabe 2,444]

Angel: Nah. It's mostly AU.

And Lady, what is so funny? So I'm not quite sure how to make it sound okay, without it turning nasty.

It's in the works, though(both versions), but when it's done, the clean version will be posted, and I'll PM the "other" to those parties who are interested. Till then! ^_____^

[Stinkerbell 147]

If you want, send me a copy as well as Lady. The more feedback the better. I'll give you an honest and constructive opinion.

[Ladywriter 7,783]

I mean that if every other line says something like...

throbbing cock or slick wet cunt

then ya might wanna revise it for a broader audience^_^

[Sabe 2,444]

Nah, it's not that bad; it just doesn't seem to sound right...But, I'm going alon, so you both can expect a copy of that scene within the week.

[falling-angel-111 736]

*raises hand* I want it too but I have to find time to watch the rest of the story first. Still send it, I'll read it and tell you what I think as soon as possible.

[Sabe 2,444]

Well, it might be a bit longer(obviously) before y'all get the scene. I'm just getting over a nasty case of the flu, so I haven't had a chance to really work on it. Gimme another few days, and I promise that you'll have it.

One thing I will say, though, as to where I'm at, I gave Sakura a new technique: Chiyorozu Te no Jutsu. It means Many hand(s). I'll let you decide how it may be being used.

[D_Marx 604]

Taking the next step up I see. Welcome! Can I ask which OC?

[Sabe 2,444]

I could tell you...but that would ruin the surprise! You'll recognize him if you really think about it. If you want a copy of the scene when it's finished, let me know.

[Sabe 2,444]

New question: Teasing. Do you see Sakura doing the feather thing, or going directly for the 'meat' of the issue? I, personally, can see her as the type. You try and try, then you have exactly what you want right there...and it has to be just perfectly done, with the juices just below the surface, ready for the tasting.

Thoughts? Opinions? Comments? Dealings of injury intended for my person?

[Ladywriter 7,783]

I don't think shes shy but she is more reserved around ppl she is unfamiliar with or is trying to make a good impression on. Does that help?

[Ladywriter 7,783]

O_Omy perseption of you has been totaly altered since I checked my private messagesO_O

kidding leave it in, it appears as if their relationship adds value to the story. If you think it's too much for kids playing hookey from school just use an edited version when u post it for the general public

[Sabe 2,444]

Why's that?

Yeah it's adding some good conflict now, and will make things a temporary hell for Watarimono as he regains his memories. And it is too much for the hookey/after school patrol; otherwise I would've just posted the scene for all to see...unless the rules around here have changed?