BlitzZ 1,078 Report post Posted September 3, 2006 Warning: The following joke may offend Democrats and Southerners, but its a joke, so it is meant to be taken lightly. Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? .................................................................... Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. ................................................................... Republican's Answer: BANG! .................................................................... Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click................ (sounds of reloading.) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?" Son: "Can I shoot the next one?" "Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!" ------------------------------------------------ [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ladywriter 7,783 Report post Posted September 3, 2006 Look at the flowers Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mimiru 355 Report post Posted September 3, 2006 Lawl I'm called a hypocrite for listening to rap, liking stem cell research, having long hair, and speaking my mind and I registered Republican. Gamertag: FORDno50 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CabbitGirl 4,018 Report post Posted September 3, 2006 X'D hahaha good one blitzz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cfioncn 800 Report post Posted September 8, 2006 Rofl .....GLOCK-27 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Torreyjs 64 Report post Posted September 9, 2006 lol i like the southern one the best that joke sort of reminds me of one i hearda a while back big difference between white people and black people is when u say run! blacks scatter and whites stop and go "hey whats goin on, whats happenin, should i follow him or her, i should see whats goin on etc etc Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gundam-Ranger-X 1,988 Report post Posted September 9, 2006 Lame. Life tastes like kittens. I like kittens! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flying_Monkey 500 Report post Posted September 9, 2006 thats funny as hell LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Torreyjs 64 Report post Posted September 10, 2006 i came back to this joke just now lol and its still funny Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D_Marx 604 Report post Posted September 13, 2006 Man, I must be more Republican than I thought. . . [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] D_Marx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wolflord 1,488 Report post Posted September 15, 2006 I'd shoot him. Right in his fucking face. aomsehri \|/ This post is definitely my greatest contribution to the site. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vincent 2,861 Report post Posted September 15, 2006 i was gonna say shoot the knife out of his hand... But can you save me? From the ranks of the freaks who could never love anyone... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gokuDX7 2,871 Report post Posted September 15, 2006 Bang All hail piggy, king of bacon ^)^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GundamFreakX 836 Report post Posted September 20, 2006 BANG! Wooo! Fooly Cooly is when you do this with your hands... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
COBRA 378 Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Minus the comments about taxidermist, we'ed go for the southern one. though there maybe some knife wounds too. >_> Dubirds on a Plane! "Don't Mess With The Nation, That Needs Medication!" - Christopher Titus - end of the world comedy tour Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
