PsymonSays 153 Report post Posted September 14, 2007 One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a >doctor." So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart." That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from His wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits Ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wolflord 1,488 Report post Posted September 14, 2007 That Walmart computer just laid down some tough love. Pretty funny, I smirked at it aomsehri \|/ This post is definitely my greatest contribution to the site. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsymonSays 153 Report post Posted September 14, 2007 I have many more jokes that are even funnier that this one [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sana-chan 116 Report post Posted September 15, 2007 hah. that's funny. lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kelene 268 Report post Posted September 16, 2007 That was great! [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mathias 426 Report post Posted September 17, 2007 I'm afraid to use that computer. Understand this lad, fate is a fickle lady. Work with the hand you're dealt and you may just be able to run your flag up the pole. Don't, and well, you may just find your mast cut down. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsymonSays 153 Report post Posted September 18, 2007 aaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! I know huh I would be afraid to use it to =D [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kite 3,263 Report post Posted September 18, 2007 awsome joke ^^ Bruce Campbell: '' This place has more security then the Batcave '' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
