Mad scientists build super weapon!

[Dubird 6,815]

Ok, not really, but it's first thing that came to mind when I saw this article.

after all, with a name like 'atom-smasher', what else would you suspect?

So according to that article, we shouldn't be worried about global warming, nuclear winter, massive war, or Mother Nature coming up and kicking our asses. Simply turning this machine on will doom the Earth. Scientists refute this claim, saying it's just reproducing what happens in nature. But panicked media say differently! So, go ahead and enjoy your eco-damaging SUVs, because in August, it'll get sucked into a mini black hole anyways!

[note, look for some form of above paragraph on random news parody sites] *LOL*

[Sledgstone 8,672]

I remember reading about this a while ago. I had no idea it was going online this august tho. We're all going to die.

Ellis said doomsayers assume that the collider will create micro black holes in the first place, which he called unlikely. And even if they appeared, he said, they would instantly evaporate, as predicted by the British physicist Stephen Hawking.

Isn't it nice how they're going to take the predictions of one man and put the risk of the entire planet on unproven theory?

[Pchan 5,162]

Baaaaaaah, that's stupid. Just turn the goddamn thing you spent millions (cash) on, and see what it does for you! Accidents happen, and some have changed the course of physics for the good.